My Story
I’m fascinated by us humans: the ways in which we think and behave; why we think and behave the way we do; what influences us and changes us, both seen and unseen; how we change and why we don’t.
It took me years (decades really) to figure out, but all my travel and reading was about absorbing and trying to understand our behaviour and our experiences. The depth of it, the breadth of it, the shades of it.
My approach to life and to coaching combines the philosophies of Buddhism and yoga with research from the fields neuroscience and psychology.
Then and Now
Then: I tried to make things better, happier, more harmonious. And in doing so, I became a mediator, a diplomat and a translator - but one without boundaries, taking on conflicts that I couldn’t or wasn’t meant to solve.
Now: The abilities I developed in my youth to bridge communication gaps and help people connect the dots led to a successful career in the financial services space, the last 9 years of which was spent as an independent consultant translating for, and between, IT teams and business teams. The same skills I used then to help me cope - close observation; careful listening (interpreting not just words, but also body language, tone and energy); and empathy - are the same ones that make me an effective and skilled coach today.
*****
Then: I was fearful, shy, insecure, obedient, self-critical and a perfectionist.
Now: I still have fear but now I know it signals an opportunity for growth and I move towards it. Sometimes I inch towards it; sometimes I take two steps forward and five steps back; and sometimes I am frozen for days/weeks/months before just jumping off the cliff. I am still shy but I know others are too and being able to help put others at ease makes me braver. I still have insecurities, but my own reasons about what I do and why I do them, who I am and what I value have become more important to me than the opinion of others. I don’t think anyone in my life would describe me as obedient these days, but I still do find comfort in following some rules, I just spend a lot of time questioning them first. I am less of a perfectionist because I understand it’s a battle we were never meant to take on. I am still self-critical but I am more compassionate and forgiving towards myself, reminding myself every day that I’m doing my best; that my best is enough; and that my best will look and feel different each day.
*****
Then: I never fit in anywhere. I always looked in from the edges, straddling the boundaries of a group, usually many groups. I was an athlete, a musician, a nerd, not quite Canadian and not quite Chinese.
Now: I still don’t “fit well” in many settings and places, but I belong here. I am lucky: I have people in my life who have supported me unconditionally and accepted me as I am for a very long time. I am curious and compassionate; insecure and impatient; always changing and yet always me.
Click here to read more about where I’m studying and other stuff I do.